I think this last week I have been feeling more like I'm drowning rather than swimming. I've honestly been struggling and I'm not going to lie it got pretty damn dark and my brain was under siege from this tidal wave of emotion and stress. It's made it hard to do anything, let alone anything productive.
This last week I honestly haven't functioned at even 18% of my normal capacity. I've considered booking a damn flight out of this town. I've made poor eating decisions and not worked out enough... and you know what? That is ok.
That is ok because that is last week's story. That isn't this week's, or next week's... or the week after's. I'm strong enough now to know that my weakness is as fleeting as I let it be and my power to dominate my misery exists somewhere deep down. I've also tasted enough victory to know that I'm into it. I want to succeed and I'll aggressively work towards it.
I've had some great support so far to get this far and I am determined to kick ass and find whatever happiness I can in this bizarre story that is my life even if I have to sucker punch the current narrator in the throat and take over ownership of how this tale goes. I think slipping a bit has given me some glorious anger and If I have to use that to get back to a place of bliss then so fucking be it.
I am armed with the past, and the will... and a brick.
Moon
PS: Thank you to all of those that keep picking me up when I fall, you have my eternal gratitude.
No comments:
Post a Comment