Part 1: A new beginning.

Ok. Yup, I'm going to start this with ok. I have to overcome this unnatural aversion to telling the truth once more and begin to be a better Eli once more. I say I have to but really I have a choice, it's a simple one. I can sort my life out or I can die young (and not even leave a handsome corpse).

Reluctant as I am to start this again knowing that last time I failed I do know I have to. Lacking as I am in the crucial driving rage and pain that helped fuel my previous efforts I am interested to see what sort of motivation a non-emotional Eli can produce. Here I am, a little healed, a little older and a little wiser (Read: Wider).

Today I have the super fun task of weighing myself, first time in a long time as I see the mechanical scales do their little multiplication, addition and the struggle for it to carry the one, or more accurately the two. I am nervous to read the number/s. It's like a big numerical explanation for why stairs have become difficult and why I sleep so poorly.

I think a really good thing to get into is why I stopped dieting and looking after myself properly. As flimsy as excuses go and I know this isn't a good one but someone made me feel so bad and just all round (Haha... round) pointless that I treated myself as such. I punish myself with food, It's a stupid and very damaging thing to do but I have always done so as long as I can remember. I know I am unable to vow that I will not allow myself to be influenced by how others make me feel but I can vow that I will endeavour to protect myself from horrible lobster handed people (As we shall now refer to all mean people as).

I'm going to stop stepping my not so dainty feet down memory lane and focus on the now. How am I going to achieve my goals of weight loss (And world domination)? Long story short... I don't have that figured out yet. I have some active hobbies, I still do medieval reenactment, swimming and go to the gym (Admittedly less than I should). I have also recently started doing karate with a good friend. So exercise is more or less in pretty good shape for some minor adjustments. It's the food aspect that I have to work on, oh and water.

I recently gave up bread, I still have it as a treat but tend not to buy it, It's been four months since a loaf of bread or bag of rolls made it into my shopping trolley. I am a sucker for those evil fizzy drinks but still far less than I used to be. I think all in all it is going to be about relearning portion control and thinking before eating. This is going to be hard.

Eli Moon