Its a good feeling, that little bit of progress opens the floodgates and a little more progress trickles through. Bit by bit I'll rejoin humanity and cease being the exile I once was. I know I'll be happy when strangers judge me for my character first instead of my weight as they damn well should anyway. One day people will look at photos of me and say "You look like you ate two of you." and I'll say "I probably could have".
Its a strange thing, I started running today. I wasn't being chased, no car was coming and no candy store was having a clearance sale (I'm allowed to say this I'm heavier than you.). I just started running and while my burst of energy was short and sweet no one can deny the fact the it materialised. Small miracles should be celebrated.
For some people the idea of me running must seem bizarre, the was a time I couldn't even do my own shopping and had other people kindly offer. Well for those people who helped me I offer to you now the chance to reap the benefit of your generosity... I'll go on walks for you and pick up whatever you need but please never help me again. next time make me do it, because I need to. I love you guys and I'll be around far longer this way.
I walked a relatively short distance today, but it was a distance I struggled with previously... today it was no problem. Its the most wonderful feeling in the world to go from feeling half dead to not even remembering what that was like. I know I'm not out of the woods yet but when I am... I'm going to burn the whole forest again. I'm going to win. I'm going to be healthy. I'm never going in those woods again. Its a slow road, but I can walk, I can stumble and when I need it I have some of the most amazing people in my life to carry me.
Eli Nelson.
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