Part 29: The Post Credits Fallacy

So there's this point in each movie where the credits roll and everything has played out. Well before we find out who played that one actor we can't place... we begin to search for faults with what we've just witnessed. We pick it apart with the beautiful precision of seasoned film critics. One visual slight here, one audible slight here. Sooner or later the film is assassinated in minds, destroyed by our negative mindsets and our addiction to perfection. So when I tell you that I've been viewing myself with this critical lens all my life. I'm the critic. I used to get bullied folks and I gotta tell you some days I miss it... because at least then it was someone else doing the evisceration. I hope someday that some peace will come to me, that anxiety will no longer drive me to pick apart the aspects of my life I cannot control. I hope I will allow myself some zen and stop putting so many negative expectations on myself. I want to be safe from myself and I no longer wish to wear the mantle of my own harshest critic. I'm figuring it out though, I've hired a new critic that's been telling it to me straight where my head's at and how to best proceed. I'm sick of reviewing my past and tearing it apart but it does look like progress is going to require me to dig deep and re-watch some pretty horrific scenes in my film to get my feelings out properly. I think the Therapy I started recently is going to be fantastically helpful, in my case it's like fixing a bone that's healed poorly though... as it's reset it's going to be agony but in the long run I'll be better for it. I have to have hope at least, unlike a bad film... people don't get a reboot. MoonLite