Part 4:Bullying, Breasts and Bravery

I got you with the title didn't I, the men read breasts and were hooked... stay tuned to be disappointed.

It is far from my intention to go to a dark place with this entry, but unfortunately for many people this is a dark place indeed... School. I'm going to start with KIDS CAN BE CRUEL, I'm sure everyone has had some kind of bullying at school and If they weren't bullied then I pity them a little, because it instills great qualities in the bullied. Understanding kids can be cruel I'd like to say I don't bear any anger towards the people who gave me a hard time at school, but my inner child is hungry to speak (and he's a big lad.)

I started getting bigger at three, and looking back I was a chubby little boy but you wouldn't be placing bets on me for Sumo wrestling any time around then, I was quite cute with the one chin but sadly I was to gain more. By the time I was ten I was the biggest kid at my school (I ate the smaller ones and lived under a bridge... True story) and I had established a bad name with my teachers (not for stealing lunchs! That's a horrible conclusion to jump to. god even the word jump makes me exhausted), I was a bit of a scrapper and I wasn't easily deterred. Now I know what you are thinking, "but Eli you are so lovely and wise and charming! why oh why would you fight?" Shut up and I'll tell you.

I fought kids because they teased me, I fought some of the ones that were stupid enough to fight. I was a big kid and before puberty weight counts for alot when the boy you are fighting looks like a stiff breeze would snap him! Fighting was me trying to get them to stop, I doubt I could have debated with them so I used my fists, It never worked... worse it got me in alot of trouble, I have been stood down, suspended and threatened by a principal with boarding school (My mum told him where to put that idea). Finally I did some anger management... and I pretended that worked. I stopped fighting back, I took the insults and let it build up, hoping one day to figure out where to put this anger. I'm still looking.

When I was about fourteen, there was a boy at my school who was sixteen and built like a rugby player, He used to walk past and grab my chest, because weight unfortunately doesn't understand that's the worst place it could go for a man. It wasn't anything weird, he just wanted to torment me, he'd call me names... some of the worst I have ever had. He would make me miserable. This carried on till the point where I could no longer stand the humiliation, I wasn't angry I'd just had enough that I reached a point that I broke. Now when I was an angry little kid I had two modes of breakdown, I'd either get sad or I'd get angry, this time was different. With the cold determination of a victim that was finished with their ordeal I stood up to him in a short but eventful fistfight, I got that bastard on the ground, he made my nose click for a month whenever I touched it. That was it. I certainly didn't win that fight, but I didn't lose. He never teased me again.

I ran into the guy a couple of years ago he was very happy to see me, he told me what he'd been up to and talked to me like I was an old friend, I think I gained his respect by standing up for myself. Bizarre... I certainly don't advocate fighting to solve problems but it seemed to solve this one.

School is a hard place for many people and lots will have had worse experiences than me, I wish I could say that I enjoyed school, I felt uncomfortable in uniforms limited by size, I was bullied, I got into fights, I missed out on alot of the physical activities and clubs... but you know what? a rough stone in a raging river becomes smooth.

Eli Nelson
193 Kgs