Part 8:Filed away all prettylike

For most of my life I have lived filed away as a page, filed away in a folder, hidden in a filing cabinet in a dingy room somewhere underground. I aged in this filing cabinet but I never grew up, I observed but never experienced. In my filing cabinet I inhaled the many adventures belonging to the surroundings of my dingy room and pretended to be content. Laughing it off as the inability to do anything suffocated me and those around me, reducing my life to mere steps from where I lived.

Until life sent me a cyclone, it ripped apart the roof of the room where I'd hidden the filing cabinet and with a primal fury that only a manifestation of rock fucking bottom could achieve, it picked up that filing cabinet and dashed it to pieces, until all that remained were the fluttering pages in the wind. When they came to rest the piece of paper titled Eli Nelson contained one little word that breathed a new life into me, it was HOPE.

The knowledge that i had a chance to succeed was all it took to revolt against my lifestyle and while I'm not winning every battle, I'm going to win the bloody war. Its hard everyday, but I feel so much better for it when I when I succeed. For as long as I can remember I have been stuck in this inescapable nightmare without sight of a way out the resembled anything pretty. Although I have so far to go, the odds seem in my favor. I have supportive family and friends, the right medical people in place and the ability to exercise and eat well. That said while I didn't have any chocolate I'm very glad Easter is well and truly over!

I'm enjoying getting out and doing more, even just feeling better about going for a wander, I'm sure things will continue improving and I'm excited. I still find it weird my life had to fall to pieces before I could complete the puzzle, oh well I got to rock bottom got a Tshirt and now I'm going to work hard until that Tshirt fits!

Eli Nelson